That’s the day I released my first ever book, Point of Attack. This is the first book in The Allverse series. November 19th was the best date because I was reaching the end, and anyone who knows me knows that I have a special place in my heart for the number 19. In fact, it’s evident all throughout Point of Attack. So my book was released to much fanfare. Okay, crumb-sized fanfare. But there was fanfare nonetheless. Over a month later, the sales aren’t chart-topping, but I’ve reached a goal that I had since I was a small CLG running around the very same house I live in now. I wanted to write books. I wanted…. to entertain. I did that with my youtube channel for a while (videos have since been removed), and now, I’m attempting to do it on a grander scale. You achieve that by distributing your content worldwide. As of a few days ago, my book was made available to every major online bookstore:
Barnes and Noble
Point of Attack is available at other online retailers, but those five are the major ones. And I’m happy and thrilled to see my work on those sites. In addition, I’m now on Goodreads as an author!
It was a long journey to get to this point, but this is not the end. The goal is to entertain. To do that, people must read Point of Attack, and realize the hidden gem between its two covers. That will land me on the best sellers list, and eventually in Hollywood where I will finally realize my dream of entertaining people. So get out there Versers (don’t know what that is? Read Point of Attack!) and make this dream a reality!
Roar goes the Lion. There. That concludes our mandatory (not really) sesame street reference for the day. But the Lions did roar, while picking silver dolphin flesh out of their teeth. It wasn’t exactly pretty but when you’re tied for the second best record in the NFL, what does it matter? Oh, I forgot… The web is home to cowardly trolls who don’t know how to appreciate a good feast when they see one. The Lions trail only the Cardinals for the best record in the entire NFL. Let that sink in, but don’t throw it at me after…
Huge progress on the book front. Cover is done, and I now have a hard date set for its release. The 19th of November. Yep. Nine days from now, “The Allverse: Point of Attack” will be released in all of its sexual glory. Who doesn’t like full-book-frontal-nudity? Here, don’t be ashamed… It’s even safe for work:
So… There’s that. And this thing is taking on a life of its own. After the multiple rejections of agents around the world, I have decided to once again do things on my own, and with the help of God, publish this book myself. The price? Oh, because there’s always a price, isn’t there? Well, that’ll be 6.99. That’s less than two Hot-N-Ready’s without the cardboard. I’m extremely excited to see how this turns out and to get the feedback that I know will inevitably come with it. Keep the 19th in mind, and remember, full-book-frontal-nudity is not only a luxury, it’s a right.
So, I never really formally introduced myself. Champion Luke Gabriel. Okay. Now give me one of those AA meeting “Hi Champion” things and we’re good.
This is the Person Element. This blog sets fire to the notion of the human element. Hail, you’re all humans, but you’re each an individual person, and I think that’s what people lose sight of the most. Each person matters no matter how much money you have in your pocket (currently 38 cents), what color your skin is (I’m kind of a two-toned waste spill), or whatever your status is (hello ladies). This blog won’t just be confined to one thing like any follow-up blogs I do. This one… Well, you read this far so eff it.
First things first: I’m a new aspiring author. Yep. I write stuff. And I actually like it. That makes me a dork. Sexiest dork you’ll ever meet. I’m in the process of editing said book (who cares if I didn’t say it?). The process allows me to try and make it perfect like my face.
I’m looking for any aspiring artists to provide cover work for my book as it looks like I might have to self-publish.
The Lions were off last week, but we continue kickin people in the face this Sunday when we take on Miami… No, not the “U”. The Dolphins.
If you need a face to mock or a video to help relieve the stress of our daily mundane (hello Clary) lives, then feel free to check out my youtube channel.
Until next time.. feel free to help yourself to the non-alcoholic apple juice and graham crackers on your way out.
Tomorrow, the world will experience a life-changing event. CLG will begin a new weekly blog that will have words and images dancing on your brain and along the inside of your eyelids like tipsy marionettes. The content of this blog will have you feeling a combination of vertigo and diarrhea (kind of like watching Barney the dinosaur), as well as the desire to sit around a bonfire made up of Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber albums.
I promise harsh reality, brutal honesty, and bacon… Okay, just bacon.
Upon missing 3 field goals (badly) last Sunday, former Lions kicker Alex Henery was unceremoniously told to piss off. I then went on a campaign for the Lions to sign recently released kicker and beer aficionado Matt Prater. I even made a banner.
Were it not for some untimely field goal misses, the Lions would be 5-0 with the league’s best defense. In case you missed it, the league’s best defense won the Super Bowl last year. On offense, key injuries are not expected to be season-ending, so getting them back healthy, maintaining new defensive coordinator Teryl Austin’s great scheme, along with signing the new step man, Prater, will ensure the Lions walk right into the Super Bowl. You heard it here first.
Watch your step on the way out.